Sunday, February 10, 2008

"On letting go..."

Florence Migatz died late yesterday evening as I was coloring the first page of my strip.

She was 89 and was planning to celebrate her 90th Birthday surrounded by her family on May the 25th of this year.
In the end, even though her doctors and my Mother were still desperately trying to save her life... she asked to be let go.
I can't begin to understand what that terrible instant was like for my Mother...

While I was present at both the deaths of my Grandparents, and nearby when the decision was made regarding my Father... I was never required to make that specific choice myself. All I could do was advise those empowered to do what I thought was in the overall interest of those concerned. Even when I disagreed with the course taken, I still tried my best to be positive and supportive.

Of course, this is quite easily done when one knows he needn't be the one to directly shoulder the responsibility for that decision.

I'm very proud of my Mother... letting go of the relative closest to her heart... a woman so beloved that her greed for even a few moments more almost clouded her judgment and set her on a ruinous course that she would have certainly regretted later.
No... she took the only path that could be humanely taken.

It's finally over... nothing left to think on now but missed opportunities...


Tonight, I am in for the evening, sick with a terrible flu that came upon me suddenly. While this in itself is nothing of particular note,... my old Ex from Japan chose tonight to finally respond to my desperate e-mails requesting her new whereabouts (I hadn't heard from her in over 3 months, since she last visited me with her old travel agent friend and stayed in my apartment to save on Hotel fees)...
I knew something was up... but I was not prepared for what she told me.

It appears that she's finally met a brand new beau (it's true what they say about weddings)... and he is very uncomfortable with our continued friendship... even through simple e-mail posts.

Sigh... while I am honestly thrilled that she's finally found someone special to fill her life (truly, I am)... I am also heartbroken that a 5 year chapter of my life is now coming to an abrupt close. It's really just too bad... we were very good with one another. I daresay that she understood me better than any other woman in my life up to this point... it just didn't work out the way we planned in the end.

But I suppose it's for the best, really...
It's just the timing of the news that galls me a bit...

I will miss her.

I will miss them both.